Emosanal Atyachaar!!

I want to kiss the hands of the poet who coined this term. Seriously!! This guy should get the nobel prize for literature for inventing a word which captivates the mind of a billion people today and has become the new ‘in’ word to say after a very long reign of the f word.

Was watching this program on TV, actually two programs which were running. One was the program whose name I have maligned intentionally in the title to avoid trademark issues and the other was a program whose aim was to solve relationship issues between couples.

I, being the highly imaginative person that I am, I ‘lagech’ derived several conclusions and observations after only 10-15 mins of watching this crap.

Let me just start with the first program whose name is phonetically similar to the title. There is a guy and a girl. They have been going out for quite some time.Everything is rosy, the guy claims to love nothing in this world but the girl and the girl claims to have had wet dreams about this guy. Butt (pun intentional), there is the Hindi movie twist to this story. The boy is ‘gareeb’ ghar ka ladka with no ‘gharana’ to speak of and the girl is filthy rich whose father confesses to have bought 500 pairs of shoes just because the daughter wouldn’t wear them a second time. There is every chance that the guy or the girl are actually cheating on each other?????? This is where the program comes in as a life saver. Oh! What if the program had never been there? The girl could never have known that the guy was actually after her ‘daulat and jaaydaat’ . The guy was actually in love with the ‘tapri’ wala’s daughter but since he had no cash to support her, he used this rich girl as the source of steady income.

The second program asks people to send their relationship issues and the host and the hostess (who are no authority on relationships btw, the girl is just another girl in a mini skirt and the guy’s Bollywood career is defined by a single movie in which he played the role of a sidekick!!) solve their problems in matter of micro seconds. There was a complaint from a housewife saying that her husband had off late begun to ignore her and the root cause was she found out that she thought she was gaining weight and was pestering him with this constant question everyday “is dress me main moti to nahi lag rahi hun” or its thousands of manifestations. Then there was a query asking the hostess “ I am a 22 year old guy and am in love with a 26 year old woman? Can this relationship survive? “ to which the hostess gave a very ‘mod’ answer that what mattered was whether you two guys love each other, age is just a number, blah blah and more blah!!

These and similar other programs which are currently now on air or have been aired in the past, are actually most watched by the single and hopeless guys like yours truly!!

I wonder, which guy who is in a relationship with a girl actually wants to conduct a loyalty test on her. And he doesn’t stop at that. The test and its gory results are made public. The public which by now has had more than its share of bullcrap laps it up like vada pav!! Same goes for the second category of programs!

People and Channel walas, let us normal people live the way we are. Please don’t teach us how to maintain relationships. That is the last thing we want to learn abour after ‘Artificial Neural Networks’. We have enough headaches of our own apart from these relationship fundas that u smother on our faces.

People who think that a particular relationship is important to them, maintain it at all costs. They call each other, they message each other and they also go sometimes and meet each other. We know what it takes to make a relationship work. Our parents have done that for ages. We do not want your advice/ help on whether our girlfriend will like us more if we wear crotch-tight jeans let alone checking where her loyalties lie.

PS- at the risk of sounding..very 'not me'. i have experimented with my writing style. I guess only time and comments will show if it was any good!!