A farce called ‘love at first sight’

Does love ever happen at first sight??

I had a pretty boring day today (nothing unusual about that) . was lazing around all day plaiying games and watching movies; that was until a friend of mine called up. We had this long chat from which the following post is derived.

He says.that when you’ve reached the slog overs of your life, the person whom you want to be at the runners end at that point is the person you love. Do all the couples going out today claiming that they love each other….think about doing that??

I absolutely second this thought. I said that the people who say ‘I Love You’ to each other have already assessed their partners to be of this level. But how can you assess if you have only just seen the person? Do you pledge a lifetime of togetherness based on one look at the person? Without even exchanging pleasantries? Does this ever happen?

One of an indirect contact of mine…exclaimed once that ‘if an attraction lasts only upto 3 months, it is an infatuation. But if it continues beyond that , it is love’. Is it true that love can be measured by definite time periods. There are people who live their entire lives together but still cant claim to love each other and there are few who only take a few months to do so. But the common thread connecting these people is that they have spent time together. They have tried to explore each other. Not some childish wish list saying that I want to marry this person if I marry at all. Mr. H Roshan made this claim on a talk show saying that when he was twelve years old, he just had a look at the now Mrs. H Roshan and decided that she would be his partner for life. Either the guy was mature way beyond his years or as is the usual case, he just had had a bout of first attraction.

There was this person, whom I claimed to love sometime back. But some days back, when I was pondering over my relationship to this person, the first thought that had occurred to me was that what was this feeling I had for her then? What would you call it? I decided to call it an infatuation ( the politically correct term). But then I thought I have been following and unconsciously thinking about this person for quite a long time. Would that be called love? Then the next thought was ‘Okay! Lets look at the person she is now’. I studied and made my permutations and combinations and my probability analysis. I discovered that this person had entirely changed from the image I had in my mind. Do I still have the feelings for her. The answer was ‘yes and no’. Yes I had feelings but no I do not have the same feelings which I had back then.

I am still confused about a one line summary. But what comes out of the whole exercise is that I had to spend time and think before I could decide that I love the person or not. It is only foolish that I say ‘I love you’ to a person without understanding her.

Love is never spontaneous. Love is never knee and jerk. Attraction is so but not love. Love only comes when people spend some time together. Love is a thing that grows. It doesn’t just appear!! You don’t love a person because her face is beautiful, her figure is a perfect hourglass or that she has a perfect ‘package’. You love someone because you want to be with them for a long time. And that feeling never comes at the first sight.

P.S- thank you guruji!! for stimulating my grey cells for the day.