Wake Up Sud!

Sorry for the appalling display of plagiarism…

The title nevertheless has been kept for a reason, it is because watching a movie with a similar sounding name served as the ‘big bang’ for this post….

What is a good life?  This is a question I have often asked myself. I am sure, most of you might have asked this question yourselves to the little remaining piece of junk that is the conscience (or in case of Ayn Rand’s fans..the ego)

Is is doing what you love that constitutes a good life? Is having a perfect partner be it a friend or a lover that makes life good? Is having all the right material benefits such as a house, a flat or a car and the right amount of cash inflow that make life worth living? Or is it the ability to have three square meals a day and a fourth too if time permits that maketh a person happy?

I was in this farewell party of a guy from work today, and we had this small (actually mini) feedback session where he told each one of us present, what he thought was their nature. I as usual was given the feedback that I do not live my life to the fullest. This acted as the final nail in the coffin.

The movie from which this title has been borrowed, showed a filthy rich guy, who had no interest whatsoever in the ceramics (for the lack of a better word) company owned by his dad, his mom was supposed to knock on the door of this guy’s room when she entered. She had to actually invite him to have dinner with herself and the guy’s father and the best of the best was that this guy’s dad promised him a Porsche SUV if his son worked in his company for 3 months which was great since this guy already owned a Honda CR-V.

This guy ends up becoming a photographer for a local magazine and the first salary that he earns, a measly Rs. 15k  is very sentimentally presented to his dad. The logic that we are provided is that this was the true calling of the guy.

Now, imagine a scenario where the guy was actually expected to complete his degree, get a job and feed his family. His parents were poor and could not afford a rented house forget a huge bungalow that the character’s father owned. What would be the scenario then?  Would he still become a photographer when a job he personally disliked offered him a salary of Rs. 40k??

That my friends is reality for you. People who never try and pursue their dream most frequently fall in this category. They can’t do it because..well they can’t  do it. They have their parents and siblings to look after who are looking upto him/ her for their daily bread. To keep his/ her parents alive, this person has to earn. He/ she does not have a choice of careers. They are just living their parents’ dreams.

You can find many such examples, everyday in the tabloids or the TV news channels, there is this story of how a son of a janitor in a government school secured a full scholarship in a medical college, how a daughter of a guy who sold Idlis is the state topper in the engineering exam but cannot join as she does not have enough funds to support her education,

And in the midst of all this, there are the well to do guys who crib about the fact that they are not living a life that they deserve. Have we ever tried to judge what the people who make rags to riches stories actually wanted to do with their lives? Do we ever question the life goals of a person who expressly did what he did just to feed his parents?

Who now has the right to be happy? who is not living his life to the fullest? and who now should wake up??

The company of ‘giants’

Pathetic title this. Even more pathetic is the thought process that is going on in my mind right now.

Fyi.The title is actually taken from a quote by Jack Welch, the ex- CEO of GE.

When I joined this place where I now work, all of us were equal or so it was made out to be. But in the past three years everything has changed. Everything except me. I still am at the lowest rung in the management ladder. Had the misfortune of getting a below average appraisal and while everyone around me kept moving on. I stayed back. Most of the times on purpose and the other times, I was just plain unlucky.

How wrong was I? What was I thinking all this time? These thoughts come and haunt me now. The worst questions are yet to come. But I have this ability to run away from things I don’t want to face. So, safe for now.

In the final year of my college, I joined a CAT prep course, and I did not attend even a single lecture, did not appear for any of the mocks and took a loan from a friend so that I could go to Jamshedpur to write the exam. I of course, spent a major chunk of that cash on liquor.

My thoughts at that time were simple. I am in the final year of one the best periods of my life. Should’nt I be enjoying this with my friends? Why waste this period studying for MBA? And so year one was down. And I joined this company.

I joined this company and I thought, since I have joined, I should atleast stay for one year and gain some experience. And worked like a maniac, when my friends came home early and started preparing. I always told myself, this is work. I need the experience. I need to become a man now before joining an MBA. And year two was down.

In the third year, I was shifted to one of the worst places I could have been, I thought this should teach me a lesson, and I started studying but a little too late and a little too less. Nothing happened. I mean of course, if you see the end result, I still was at the same place. And so passed year three.

Now in the fourth year, when I was just thinking that it couldn’t get any worse, a torpedo, the intra company selection of the crème-de- la- crème happened. And I didn’t appear once again, thinking I was not ready yet. Not now. But the selection happened and I still am at the same place. year four down.

I read a quote written by Fyodor Dostoevsky sometime back. It offered a solace, yes. But, it was not to be there forever. If it had been, I wouldn’t be writing this piece now. Would I?

All the people who were with me during this period have now gone on to become giants. And here I am. Lurking in the darkness called ‘routine’ which is consuming me by the minute and now it feels even I don’t want to face the light of the day.

The worst questions have now been asked. And I shall do now what I have always done... Run away.

P.S- pls do not offer your sympathies. This was written because I wanted to accept the mistakes I have made.