?

Internet is tricky.

If i write something personal here, it shows up on peoples search results. Had read an article where companies google all sorts of shit about you when you are about to be hired. Does this blog show up when you search me?

I should check the privacy settings.

Stuff ruminating in my brain needs to be let out. But where?


Working in the place where I work is getting difficult by the day. Im not getting along with either my boss or my coworkers. everyday there is a part of me that cries out for change which doesnt come. Not that i have not tried getting it. but even trying seems to be too much of an effort now.

Every once in a while i think about preparing my resume and posting it on job sites. and then i dont do it.

May be im too lazy. may be i dont want to quit here. cant really put a finger on the root cause.

But i have to try. i cannot see myself working here for the next year.

But where will i go. what will i do there. will the job accomodate my idiosyncracies, my off-days. I guess i cant really know unless i make the change.

My low self esteem isnt adding much to the equation.  But is it low? or is it an accurate judgment of my abilities.

Im not much of a charmer, but then i dont have much technical knowledge about my field of work.

Where do i fit in this world?

Im 30 going on 31. i should have had this thing figured out by now.

It has been so long since i have had a real conversation with someone.

Have started working out...well sort of....that helps bring out some minuscule amount of positivity.

I hate this feeling of inadequacy in anything i do.

Life is not fiction. because in fiction, things have to make sense. Dont remember who said it though Was it GRRM?