The ‘Khatta’ Identity

My intention in writing this post is very noble. This post should serve as a ready reckoner to all my ignorant north (or west or east for that matter) Indians about a seemingly difficult topic- South India.

What I would be writing is pretty basic, but should be able to drive through a point through the thick skulls of some people; One point-WE ARE NOT ALL MADRAASIS. Period.

There are 4 major states comprising the south of India- Andhra Pradesh, Karnataka, Tamil Nadu and Kerala. The IPL teams from these states too are different- Deccan Chargers, Bangalore Royal Challengers, Chennai Super Kings and the yet unnamed team from Kochi respectively. So 4 states, 4 teams- once again my friends- WE ARE NOT ALL MADRAASIS.

The English accent of the people of all the four states too is different. The AP guy would pronounce ‘your’ as uuuuur and ‘sure’ as ‘shooooor’. The kannadiga would add an extra vowel to the end of each word which ends with a consonant. E.g: what(e)? night(e) and the like. The e at the end sounds like the first e of ‘elephant’. The tamil guy will try very hard but ultimately fail not to put the suffix ‘da’ at the end of each sentence E.g: “Whaat are you doing da?” “Its not my fault da!” “I love you da!” They also are sometimes prone to play a little verbal football (pronounced futbaal) with the Ss and Zs. The kerlaite on the other hand would say sumthin like this “hi! My name is sam Jonny” (the jonny is pronounced like the second n of the hindi word mani” So four states, four different accents- WE ARE NOT ALL MADRAASIS.

Some myth busting about “Typically South Indian” things-

a. Our Cuisine is not limited to Idly/ Dosa/ Vada. We normally eat these things only for breakfast. There are other things that we eat for lunch/ dinner. So, if at any restaurant, they serve you dosas at dinner saying that it is a south Indian culture- you know u r being screwed!!
b. We do not add ‘Imli’ to each and everything that we cook. And the tamarind used is in general a substitute for the north Indian tomatoes which bring a tangy taste to the dish. We prefer eating tangy/ spicy food. Our food has a predominant taste unlike east Indian food which mostly comprises water and vegetables with about a milligram of spice thrown in with a kilogram of vegetables or north Indian food which comprises huge dollops of ghee/ butter or west Indian food which has tonnes of oil and quintals of red chillies (marathi)/ sugar( gujju) and nothing else.
c. We do not understand each other’s languages. This is the most important/ prevalent myth. Hence I need to assert once more- WE ARE NOT ALL MADRAASIS.
d. Our film stars are different. Although there are people who dabble in more than one language, it is mostly Chiranjeevi for AP, ShivRaj Kumar for Kannadigas, Rajnikant for Tamils and MohanLal for Mallus. I would very much like you people to google these names so that you get a clear idea who/ what I am talking about.
e. Not all south Indian women have the so called ‘thunder thighs’. It is for the masses that women like these are put to use just like the lewd songs in bhojpuri/ hindi/ Punjabi.
f. Our filmstars perform the seemingly impossible stunts only to please the masses (who else). The next time you think south Indian movies are cheap for this reason or the one above. Pls go watch Mithun Chakrborty/ Kanti Shah/ Ravi Kissen (Bhojpuri) or the endless B grade Punjabi pop singers.

So, the end approaches for this post. And Pls people- WE ARE NOT ALL MADRAASIS!!!



Navaer Im Mellon..